Your Child is Off to College!
Now What?
​Join me for
Bittersweet
A support group for parents and caregivers
whose children are off to college
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One day they’re here, asking you for money or a ride, arguing with you about curfews, laughing with you as you try to do the silly dance you watched together on TikTok.
The next day, they’re gone.
Off to college.
They’re no longer living at home and you’re wondering how 18+ years went by in the blink of an eye.
You tried to prepare for this. You read books about preparing for this change, you talked to friends whose kids were no longer living at home. You hoped the transition would be simple and that life would stay pretty much the same. You’d still be involved in pretty much everything, just from a distance.
Or maybe you knew the transition would be hard, but you felt ready. Maybe you were looking forward to it. You had been keeping a list of all the things you wanted to do when you finally have time and you were ready to tick those boxes!
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You have no idea what to think. What to feel. What to expect. The rest of your life stretches out in front of you and you don’t even know how to fill the day.
You feel lost.
And then.
The quiet. It feels shocking.
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The lack of noise
laughing
chaos
arguing
stuff
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It feels wrong.
How incredible would it feel if you could:
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Trust that your child is prepared for what lies ahead, even the hard stuff?
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Trust that your feelings are totally normal, even if they change every hour?
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Trust that there is plenty of joy and excitement waiting for you out there?!
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You spent the last 18+ years prioritizing parenting, doing what was needed to keep your kids alive and safe (in the early years), and supported and successful (in the later years). Life has revolved around what the kids wanted and needed and after doing that for almost two decades, it’s hard to imagine life any other way.
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And now your child is going off on their own and while this is what most parents want for their children (in theory!), when it actually happens, life feels completely upended.
Now you have more time to spend with your other children and/or
your partner!
(How do you actually feel about this?)
You have more time to spend alone!
(Is this a good thing
or a bad thing?)
People love to tell you how you should feel:
“I’d be so excited!”
“You must be so worried!”
“If I were you, I’d be thrilled to start traveling!”
(The way you're feeling never seems “right”.)
​​In 2025, I’ll be offering another round of the support group specifically designed to support you and other parents who are in the same phase of life. ​
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​It's called Bittersweet.
It's an 8-week virtual support group where you'll:
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Talk openly and honestly about how hard day-to-day life has been since your child left
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Get the tools needed to navigate your new relationship with your child so you can enjoy the adult they've become
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Embrace the role of “consultant” and give up your “micro-manager” duties so you stay involved with your child while empowering them to take more control of their life
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Practice being more selfish. Now’s the time to get back into the “it’s all about me” mindset you had in your 20s!
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Connect with a group of people who get it and create relationships that will continue long after the group ends
You could go through this alone, but why would you? Join our group to get the support you deserve during this massive turning point in your life.
In this weekly group, you can look forward to:
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A built-in support system made up of people who are in the same situation and won’t judge your feelings, thoughts or emotions.
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An hour a week where the focus is on you- how you feel, what you want, and what you need.
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Tips and tricks for staying engaged in your child’s life without overstepping.
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Inspiration, motivation, and practical advice for surviving (thriving!) when your life has been turned upside down— find the answer(s) to “What do I do with myself now?”
Meet Your Facilitator
Michelle Deely, LMFT
I am warm, compassionate and lovingly direct. During our group, I will be active and fully engaged; I will encourage you to be open and honest and to take advantage of
everything our group has to offer.
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It can feel so bittersweet when your child leaves home;
being part of this group will make the transition less hard.
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As a mother of three, living and working in San Francisco, I have real-world experience with the daily struggle to be everything to everyone. I also know that transitions like these give us the opportunity to reevaluate what we want out of life. I look forward to helping you navigate this scary, confusing, exciting time.
FAQs
When are the meetings?
We’ll meet on Wednesday nights from 6:30-7:30, dates TBD. All meetings will take place via Zoom. We’ll meet every other week for a total of 4 meetings.
How much does this cost?
The price for 4 meetings is TBD, payable in full before the first group starts or in two monthly payments.
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When does registration start?
Sign up here to be notified when registration opens.
Does my child have to be a freshman in college for me to attend?
No! Maybe your child moved out a while ago, joined the military, has recently moved in with friends or has moved out to do a gap year. No matter the circumstances, when a big part of your life moves out of the house, complex, confusing feelings arise. This support group is for you!
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Do I have to be a true empty nester for me to attend?
No! Just because you still have a child or children at home doesn't mean you don't feel the same feelings of loss, sadness or worry that "empty nesters" feel. This group is for you!
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Why should I join the Bittersweet group instead of just talking about this with my therapist?
There is something really special that happens when a group of people make a commitment to show up and support each other. While it's great to talk about your feelings with a therapist, joining a support group gives you the added layer of connection with people that are going through the same thing at the same time. Hearing other people's experiences can be validating; hearing how other people are coping can be thought-provoking and inspiring. Belonging to a group reduces isolation; the group gives you access to a whole crew of people cheering you on!
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I've never done a group before and I'm nervous. What will the meetings be like?
Great question! We'll typically start with a quick check-in where everyone gets to chance to share how they're feeling, an update from their week and/or a topic they'd like to spend time talking about. Then we'll dive a bit deeper into the various topics related to the experience of becoming an empty nester. Members will get a chance to both share AND listen; all feelings are welcome and the vibe is supportive and kind.
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I know joining a group may feel intimidating at first and that you may have additional questions. Feel free to schedule a call with me here or email me at michelle@michelledeely.com to chat more about what to expect.
Will I have to talk?
No, you don't have share, but you may find that over time you want to! You’re free to just listen if that’s what you’re comfortable with, there’s no pressure to share more than you’re ready to. We want you to feel supported and comfortable, whether that means contributing to the discussion or just soaking it all in. As the group goes on, you may find that you have a lot more to share than you expected!
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I’m not sure if this group will be helpful for me. What should I do?
Let’s chat! After the group opens for registration, you can schedule a free 20-minute call with me here. I can answer any questions you may have about the group and how it can help.
I’d like to join! What are my next steps?
Fantastic! After the group opens for registration, schedule a free 20-minute call with me here so we can make sure it's the right fit and I can answer any questions you have. Then we’ll get you signed up!